God's Debate Team
The title of this post is a bit snarky I suppose, but I’ve been involved in several conversations the last few weeks and I’ve been feeling as though I’m lacking in some way, that I need to take a refresher course on debate and argument skills or something.
A quick google search on the topic brings up a worthy list of skills like: critical thinking, research, argument construction, communication, listening, reasoning, empathy, persuasion, self awareness, etc.
All good things, of course, but something seems to be missing for me.
Ten years ago I was listening to a man speak. He said something that has remained with me ever since.
He said: “First we must BE, only then can we DO.”
I’ve thought about this idea of BEING first and then DOING, a lot over the years.
The natural man loves to switch it up, convincing us that we must DO first and only then can we BE…’something’.
The natural man also loves to-do lists, especially “self-help to-do lists”. You see, the “natural man” would like us to embark on a “self-help” program to clean him/her up and make him presentable…you know, so we let him stick around.
The scriptures, of course, tell us that the natural man must be abandoned altogether. Men and women can only serve one master and we are told plainly that we are out of harmony with God and that this disharmony will continue from eternity to eternity unless(until) we yield to the Holy Spirit, abandon our fallen nature and become holy through the atonement of Jesus Christ.
I love this scripture in Mosiah. It's a clear, short, and concise list of what we must “do”. The Covenant of Christ makes it clear and unmistakable, of course.
This process can only happen in one way–through the guidance of the Holy Spirit, we must be willing to walk that path.
When we are told that we “lack the ability to respectfully disagree among one another”, my question is WHY?
Why do we lack that ability? And how do we gain it, if we lack it? Are we simply lacking in good debate skills?
We can hone our skills in debate and argument, we can purposely interact with others and try to have positive conversations about things we disagree on, we can even treat it like a lab experiment: creating a situation in which we are forced to interact with someone that we disagree with…or perhaps even dislike…
Daily life certainly offers plenty of those opportunities. But something seems to be missing in that approach. Most people can, and do, use those skills in their work settings, school or church, or even at a family gathering. Most of us actually do have the ability to have a civil conversation with someone about something we disagree on. We do it all the time.
So again, I have to ask, WHY? Why do we lack this ability within a particular group and setting?
It seems to me that this is going to require more than simply having “Good Skillz”.
It brings me back to the idea that we must BE first, before we can DO. Are we switching it up and trying to DO first?
What does it even mean to “BE”?
The meaning I give it, and that the man who first said it to me meant, is to BE ONE with God.
Being “ONE with God” is a “state of being”. It is not a checklist item that we do, ✔️, and then move on to the next thing. Being ONE with God is what we are. It is who we are. Or not.
It is only from this state of Oneness with God, of being made holy through the atonement of Jesus Christ, that we can then DO anything in an acceptable way.
Five years ago I had a conversation with the Spirit. I was told some things about my marriage and given promises. One of the things I was told is that: “my husband and I will not have a particular fight anymore, that we would not be at odds with each other ever again.”
It took me a year or two to fully accept that, to believe it. It seemed rather impossible to me. It's not that we were fighting with each other all the time, it was referring to that one fight that all couples have. The one that always seems to resurface over and over until we actually address it at the root. You know, that one that is under almost all fights you have with your spouse, it is the fire that causes a lot of smoke. Human nature almost always fights about the smoke as it comes and goes, but is rarely willing to dig deep and actually address the fire.
I finally did accept this statement given to me in the Spirit, and I learned how it was to be done. It was not that somehow, magically, there would never be an opportunity to fight with each other ever again.
And yet, it really is the only way. To abandon our natural state and yield to the Holy Spirit in all things.
Instead of spending a lot of time working on my skills, I think I will instead examine my heart. If I still lack the ability to respectfully disagree with someone, I want to know why. I know it is not because "I don’t know how to do that"–I do it all the time at work, with my children and their school, my husband, with friends and family, neighbors, on the phone with an insurance agent, etc.
I do have the skills to interact with someone and disagree with them and still be respectful, most of us do.
That doesn’t really seem to be the actual problem.
I want to know what part of my fallen nature is still in charge and exerting its will. What is the real problem–is it my fear, pride, hurt feelings, indignation, stubbornness, jealousy, in what way am I still not giving my WHOLE heart, might, mind and strength to God...it's an endless list really.
A quick google search on the topic brings up a worthy list of skills like: critical thinking, research, argument construction, communication, listening, reasoning, empathy, persuasion, self awareness, etc.
All good things, of course, but something seems to be missing for me.
Ten years ago I was listening to a man speak. He said something that has remained with me ever since.
He said: “First we must BE, only then can we DO.”
I’ve thought about this idea of BEING first and then DOING, a lot over the years.
The natural man loves to switch it up, convincing us that we must DO first and only then can we BE…’something’.
The natural man also loves to-do lists, especially “self-help to-do lists”. You see, the “natural man” would like us to embark on a “self-help” program to clean him/her up and make him presentable…you know, so we let him stick around.
The scriptures, of course, tell us that the natural man must be abandoned altogether. Men and women can only serve one master and we are told plainly that we are out of harmony with God and that this disharmony will continue from eternity to eternity unless(until) we yield to the Holy Spirit, abandon our fallen nature and become holy through the atonement of Jesus Christ.
I love this scripture in Mosiah. It's a clear, short, and concise list of what we must “do”. The Covenant of Christ makes it clear and unmistakable, of course.
Men and women, in their natural state, are out of harmony with God and have been since the Fall of Adam. This disharmony will continue from eternity to eternity, unless they yield to the guidance of the Holy Spirit, abandon their fallen nature, and become holy through the atonement of the Lord Jesus Christ. They should strive to become like a child, humble, meek, patient, and full of love, willing to accept everything that the Lord deems appropriate for them, as a child obeys their parents.I think it is pretty safe to say that we can only truly abandon our fallen nature with the help of the Lord. It is He that changes us and makes us into a new creature in Christ. Our part in that is essentially cooperative, us offering our whole heart to God and then being willing to be changed from our fallen nature back into our divine nature.
This process can only happen in one way–through the guidance of the Holy Spirit, we must be willing to walk that path.
When we are told that we “lack the ability to respectfully disagree among one another”, my question is WHY?
Why do we lack that ability? And how do we gain it, if we lack it? Are we simply lacking in good debate skills?
We can hone our skills in debate and argument, we can purposely interact with others and try to have positive conversations about things we disagree on, we can even treat it like a lab experiment: creating a situation in which we are forced to interact with someone that we disagree with…or perhaps even dislike…
Daily life certainly offers plenty of those opportunities. But something seems to be missing in that approach. Most people can, and do, use those skills in their work settings, school or church, or even at a family gathering. Most of us actually do have the ability to have a civil conversation with someone about something we disagree on. We do it all the time.
So again, I have to ask, WHY? Why do we lack this ability within a particular group and setting?
It seems to me that this is going to require more than simply having “Good Skillz”.
It brings me back to the idea that we must BE first, before we can DO. Are we switching it up and trying to DO first?
What does it even mean to “BE”?
The meaning I give it, and that the man who first said it to me meant, is to BE ONE with God.
Being “ONE with God” is a “state of being”. It is not a checklist item that we do, ✔️, and then move on to the next thing. Being ONE with God is what we are. It is who we are. Or not.
It is only from this state of Oneness with God, of being made holy through the atonement of Jesus Christ, that we can then DO anything in an acceptable way.
Five years ago I had a conversation with the Spirit. I was told some things about my marriage and given promises. One of the things I was told is that: “my husband and I will not have a particular fight anymore, that we would not be at odds with each other ever again.”
It took me a year or two to fully accept that, to believe it. It seemed rather impossible to me. It's not that we were fighting with each other all the time, it was referring to that one fight that all couples have. The one that always seems to resurface over and over until we actually address it at the root. You know, that one that is under almost all fights you have with your spouse, it is the fire that causes a lot of smoke. Human nature almost always fights about the smoke as it comes and goes, but is rarely willing to dig deep and actually address the fire.
I finally did accept this statement given to me in the Spirit, and I learned how it was to be done. It was not that somehow, magically, there would never be an opportunity to fight with each other ever again.
NO, there were still plenty of opportunities to have that fight.
But we didn’t go there. And if we started to look in that direction, we quickly course corrected. For me personally, that meant doing things that were very foreign to me and quite uncomfortable. It meant being vulnerable and saying and doing things I normally would not have said or done. Things that my natural man resisted a lot, but that the Holy Spirit guided me in consistently.
I became keenly aware of that scripture in Mosiah that says because of our fallen nature/man we are out of harmony with God.
If we are out of harmony with God, we can never be in harmony with another person, no matter how many skills we “perfect”.
I had to have as my first priority, to be in harmony with God before anything else and so did my husband.
THAT is the magic right there. People seeking to be in harmony with God, yielding to the Holy Spirit in ALL things and thus BEING made holy through Jesus Christ.
If two(or more) people who are actually doing that come together, they will not lack the ability to respectfully disagree among one another.
But we didn’t go there. And if we started to look in that direction, we quickly course corrected. For me personally, that meant doing things that were very foreign to me and quite uncomfortable. It meant being vulnerable and saying and doing things I normally would not have said or done. Things that my natural man resisted a lot, but that the Holy Spirit guided me in consistently.
I became keenly aware of that scripture in Mosiah that says because of our fallen nature/man we are out of harmony with God.
If we are out of harmony with God, we can never be in harmony with another person, no matter how many skills we “perfect”.
I had to have as my first priority, to be in harmony with God before anything else and so did my husband.
THAT is the magic right there. People seeking to be in harmony with God, yielding to the Holy Spirit in ALL things and thus BEING made holy through Jesus Christ.
If two(or more) people who are actually doing that come together, they will not lack the ability to respectfully disagree among one another.
They will each be yielding to the Holy Spirit in all things and the Spirit of God leads to unity and oneness, not disharmony.
I learned that for the promise I was given through the Spirit to be true, I had to do my part. I had to be willing to yield to the Holy Spirit in ALL things and bind that spirit of Satan within my own heart. That, of course, is NOT the path our natural man wants us to pursue and so there will be resistance to it. That is an understatement of course, sometimes it feels like an all out war within our soul…for our soul.
And yet, it really is the only way. To abandon our natural state and yield to the Holy Spirit in all things.
Instead of spending a lot of time working on my skills, I think I will instead examine my heart. If I still lack the ability to respectfully disagree with someone, I want to know why. I know it is not because "I don’t know how to do that"–I do it all the time at work, with my children and their school, my husband, with friends and family, neighbors, on the phone with an insurance agent, etc.
I do have the skills to interact with someone and disagree with them and still be respectful, most of us do.
That doesn’t really seem to be the actual problem.
I want to know what part of my fallen nature is still in charge and exerting its will. What is the real problem–is it my fear, pride, hurt feelings, indignation, stubbornness, jealousy, in what way am I still not giving my WHOLE heart, might, mind and strength to God...it's an endless list really.
One thing I have learned is that the best, most efficient and quickest way to change those kinds of feelings is by yielding to the Spirit of God. It has worked every single time I’ve done it and it is actually kind of magical the way we can be changed into a new creature when we stop resisting the Spirit and are finally willing to abandon our natural man as an offering to God.
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