The battle's afoot, are you praying?

I was cleaning out my nightstand and came across a book I purchased several years ago from a christian book store. It is called: The Power of a Praying Wife. It is a book about the author’s experience using powerful prayer to save her marriage and it is structured around about 30 different aspects of a man’s life and marriage. She shares a little about each topic and then provides a scripted prayer that a wife can read/pray and allow the spirit to guide her in the way that is needed. 

I think the real power in the book lies in it opening the door to approaching problems in a different, but powerful and purposeful way, instead of being a victim of life. 

As I opened the book and scanned through the pages, I remembered when I bought it, and why. It was during the “destructive testing” period my marriage went through about 7 years ago. I was really suffering and this book caught my eye. One of the biggest turning points in my marriage was when I realized that I was not the sole victim in my marriage and that I was doing things that were equally part of the problem, that my husband did not bear all of the responsibility.

Shocking, I know! Of course I knew that on some level, I understood that it takes two to tango and all relationship difficulties require both people to create the problem. But for the first time I was really willing to see my part in the problem and own it. 

That is a really powerful place to finally arrive at for a person. It is an empowering moment when you realize– if you are part of the problem, then you have the power to change something about yourself and that will actually shift the relationship dynamic. That is much more encouraging and hopeful than constantly reiterating to yourself how bad the other person is and how much of a poor little victim you are. 

There is a line in the book I had underlined, it says: “One of the greatest gifts you can give your husband is your own wholeness. The most effective tool in transforming him may be your own transformation.”  Little did I know how true that would be at the time I underlined it. 

As I quickly flipped through the book I was taken back to that difficult time in my marriage. It seemed like it was the culmination of all the fights we had experienced in our marriage. You know how it is, there is always that same issue that seems to resurface over and over in your marriage, the same fight over and over, because it seems as though you never really hear or see each other and the underlying issue never gets resolved, so it constantly bubbles up to the surface begging you to address it in a way that goes to the very source of the fire instead of always just fighting about the all the smoke it creates. 

It’s a hard thing to allow the refiner's fire of marriage to burn out all your dross. And marriage surely has a way of finding dross that we otherwise do a pretty good job of keeping hidden! But the transformation that can occur as two people willingly submit to the Lord and allow themselves to be changed together is a beautiful thing. It is one thing to come to the Lord individually and offer a broken heart and contrite spirit and allow the Lord to change you into a new creature in Christ. But it is a whole different beast to come to the Lord as a couple and offer up a broken heart and contrite spirit, not only to the Lord but to your spouse as well, and allow the Lord to transform your marriage into a new creature in Christ. 

Last spring I had some understanding given to me by the Lord that I want to share a little of here. It was shortly after the infamous eclipse in April. There were several conversations that I was involved with around that time where people were thinking back to the eclipse 7 years earlier. Many were pondering their life and looking at any change and growth they had experienced in that 7 year time period between the two eclipses. 

As I considered my own life and what had transpired during that 7 year period, I was humbled as I realized that I had experienced more growth with God in those 7 years than I had in all the years of my life combined. I thought about that a lot for a few weeks. One night as I was lying in bed pondering many things, the Lord made me aware of a few things.

As I lay there, my mind wandered back to 2017. I was considering how difficult it was for my marriage for several months, as that “one problem” that I spoke of earlier, resurfaced and refused to go away until we addressed it in a different way. As I thought about it I was taken aback a little as I realized that the difficult period lasted about 6 or 7 months and that the eclipse and covenant offered was right in the very middle of that time period. That seemed significant. 

I thought about it all and the spirit indicated to me that- “It was a test and the demons of hell were given free rein over us for a time to see if they could destroy our marriage.” I considered that and thought, “But we passed that test and here we are 7 years later in a much different place.”  Because we “passed that test” by being willing to do the work to address our issues and come together, we have ascended in our relationship with each other and together with God. It is a whole different level of worship–to worship God together as one in a marriage. It is an exquisitely beautiful thing actually. Nothing else really matters compared to being one with each other before God.

I share this with you because I know that some of you reading this are in the midst of that destructive testing and I want to encourage you. It is hard, but there is really no way around it. If you want to become one with your spouse you must be willing to walk through that fire and allow it to purify you. To change you. 

There is potential for great power in prayer. Most of us reading this have an upbringing within the LDS church. In my own life, I was never really taught about the true power that prayer can have. What I was taught was vastly underestimated and watered down from what God meant for prayer to be for all of us.  I have learned, and even been shown on occasion, the effects of a powerful prayer. Spiritual warfare is a very foreign concept to a lot of us that grew up LDS,  but it is a very real thing. One of the greatest tools of the devil is to make us believe that we are weak and powerless against his designs, but the opposite is true. If we will yield our soul to God and submit to His will in all things we can align ourselves with His power and authority and that is the very thing that the enemy tries to prevent.

I want to encourage all of us to stand in authority over our life and family and marriage. To pray with power and authority as a spiritual weapon. The scriptures tell us to approach the throne of God with boldness, prayer is a beautiful way to practice this boldness. And if you don’t feel particularly bold, pray and ask God to lend you His! I have prayed many prayers asking God to lend me His courage and His faith when I felt like mine was not enough.