THE GODDESS IS SENSUOUS
Let’s talk about sensuality and pleasure.
Pleasure is a powerful way to nourish ourselves and connect to our feminine energy. Pleasure is not only about sexual pleasure. We can tap into it throughout the day. And we should understand that our pleasure is not outside of us.
Pleasure is sourced from within our own bodies and we have access to it at any time.
There is, of course, pleasure shaming. Many of us deny ourselves pleasure, we’re told and believe that it’s selfish or unnecessary, that it’s only a reward for good behavior–only if we deserve it.
Women especially, focus so much on taking care of everybody else that we feel guilty, like it’s selfish for us to indulge ourselves or care for ourselves.
What if we thought of pleasure as “medicine”? As something necessary to our wellbeing? Purposely tapping into pleasure during our day can balance our nervous system and make us more resilient.
- it allows us to show up more fully for the world, you can’t give from an empty cup.
- it increases our overall health and vitality, it balances hormones.
- it makes us feel more alive and radiant.
- it makes it easier to get “turned on”.
So ladies, in what ways do you deny yourselves pleasure?
Why do you deny yourself pleasure?
Do you think it’s not important? Is it selfish? There is not enough time?
The gateway into pleasure is through our sensuality.
Being sensual means being attuned to all of our senses. We are constantly receiving sensory input from the world around us through taste, touch, smell, hearing, sight. The question is how deeply aware are we of it all.
Even right now, as I write this, I am eating a bag of chips because I really wanted something salty and crunchy. And yet here I am, half way through the bag and I’ve just been mindlessly chomping through it. I haven’t actually paid attention to the salty, crunchy deliciousness at all!
Our bodies can experience pleasure all the time, but we are usually too much in our mind to even notice.
Being sensual is essentially a mindfulness practice, with the intent to experience pleasure while mindfully doing something. We can tap into our sensuality in endless ways:
- eating a piece of chocolate, food or drink
- feeling soft fabric on your skin
- watching a beautiful sunset, gazing up at the full moon
- smelling a freshly opened rose
- listening to music
- taking a hot bath with scented oils
- making love
So here is our practice for today: Learning to expand our pleasure.
When you notice something pleasurable in any given moment, the practice is to expand into it more.
- Can you relax the edges around your pleasure? Don’t limit it, just allow it fully.
- Can you breathe into it a little more?
- Can you make a little sound to express it? (This brings to mind the movie, When Harry Met Sally. I dare you to express your pleasure at something delicious like Sally did!...probably not in public though!)
- Can you move your body in a way that allows pleasure to expand? There can actually be a lot of pleasurable satisfaction from a good stretch in certain yoga positions!
Women are naturally more inclined to “indulge” in pleasure this way than men. I will often make my husband join me in the pleasure of eating chocolate slowly. At first I had to stop him from chewing it up quickly and opening his mouth for another piece. Now he knows what the rules are and he lets it melt in his mouth slowly and indulgently.
Our ability to “feel” things and to take pleasure in it and then express it, is something that men generally find very alluring about women. And it is particularly alluring to them if they are the one evoking that pleasure!
There is a real need for women to have daily practices that allow us to say: 'Yes' -to our emotions, our feelings, our desires, our needs, etc. Society has raised us to internalize a 'No' to ourselves. A 'No' to our needs, our bodies, our desires, our power, our sensuality, our freedom, our aliveness.
The way women are raised in society depletes them. We are not men and we do not have the hormonal profile that men have and vice versa. This means we are very different from each other in more ways than just our physical body and sexual functions. The way we approach life is different due to our different hormonal structures. Our needs are very different due to our hormones.
Women often experience a sense of disconnection from themselves and their relationships. We often feel unworthy and stuck, like we don’t deserve the things we desire. Or we feel guilty for the things we might want in life.
Almost all women are repressed. And I’m not talking about the stereotypical ways you might be thinking. I’m talking about a repression that is internal and unspoken and really misunderstood. We are so disconnected from our true feminine nature. We refrain from truly expressing our wildness, our sensuality, our sexuality, our light, our power, our intuitive “knowingness”, our emotions, our playfulness, our desire, our pain, our pleasure…..the list is really endless.
The history of this world has, generally, not been friendly to women who are willing to fully express themselves, to own their power. We are not too far away from a time when women were burned at the stake for expressing some of these things. So there are reasons, that we are cautious, that we don't even understand.
But I think the time has come that women are meant to step up and stand next to their husband and emulate God, by two equals becoming one. Women cannot do that if we are repressing vital aspects of who we really are. The same is true for men, but in different ways for different things, some of which I have discussed in previous blog posts here and here.
(I want to say here, that all women need to get back in touch with their feminine nature and should engage in practices like I've suggested to help do that. A man is not required to begin this work. But a man is required for us to go all that way with this.)
I will end this with a quote I wrote down a few years ago. Once again, I did not write down where I got it from, but it is good so I’m going to use it.
Pleasure is a powerful way to nourish ourselves and connect to our feminine energy. Pleasure is not only about sexual pleasure. We can tap into it throughout the day. And we should understand that our pleasure is not outside of us.
Pleasure is sourced from within our own bodies and we have access to it at any time.
There is, of course, pleasure shaming. Many of us deny ourselves pleasure, we’re told and believe that it’s selfish or unnecessary, that it’s only a reward for good behavior–only if we deserve it.
Women especially, focus so much on taking care of everybody else that we feel guilty, like it’s selfish for us to indulge ourselves or care for ourselves.
What if we thought of pleasure as “medicine”? As something necessary to our wellbeing? Purposely tapping into pleasure during our day can balance our nervous system and make us more resilient.
- it allows us to show up more fully for the world, you can’t give from an empty cup.
- it increases our overall health and vitality, it balances hormones.
- it makes us feel more alive and radiant.
- it makes it easier to get “turned on”.
So ladies, in what ways do you deny yourselves pleasure?
Why do you deny yourself pleasure?
Do you think it’s not important? Is it selfish? There is not enough time?
The gateway into pleasure is through our sensuality.
Being sensual means being attuned to all of our senses. We are constantly receiving sensory input from the world around us through taste, touch, smell, hearing, sight. The question is how deeply aware are we of it all.
Even right now, as I write this, I am eating a bag of chips because I really wanted something salty and crunchy. And yet here I am, half way through the bag and I’ve just been mindlessly chomping through it. I haven’t actually paid attention to the salty, crunchy deliciousness at all!
Our bodies can experience pleasure all the time, but we are usually too much in our mind to even notice.
Being sensual is essentially a mindfulness practice, with the intent to experience pleasure while mindfully doing something. We can tap into our sensuality in endless ways:
- eating a piece of chocolate, food or drink
- feeling soft fabric on your skin
- watching a beautiful sunset, gazing up at the full moon
- smelling a freshly opened rose
- listening to music
- taking a hot bath with scented oils
- making love
So here is our practice for today: Learning to expand our pleasure.
When you notice something pleasurable in any given moment, the practice is to expand into it more.
- Can you relax the edges around your pleasure? Don’t limit it, just allow it fully.
- Can you breathe into it a little more?
- Can you make a little sound to express it? (This brings to mind the movie, When Harry Met Sally. I dare you to express your pleasure at something delicious like Sally did!...probably not in public though!)
- Can you move your body in a way that allows pleasure to expand? There can actually be a lot of pleasurable satisfaction from a good stretch in certain yoga positions!
Women are naturally more inclined to “indulge” in pleasure this way than men. I will often make my husband join me in the pleasure of eating chocolate slowly. At first I had to stop him from chewing it up quickly and opening his mouth for another piece. Now he knows what the rules are and he lets it melt in his mouth slowly and indulgently.
Our ability to “feel” things and to take pleasure in it and then express it, is something that men generally find very alluring about women. And it is particularly alluring to them if they are the one evoking that pleasure!
There is a real need for women to have daily practices that allow us to say: 'Yes' -to our emotions, our feelings, our desires, our needs, etc. Society has raised us to internalize a 'No' to ourselves. A 'No' to our needs, our bodies, our desires, our power, our sensuality, our freedom, our aliveness.
The way women are raised in society depletes them. We are not men and we do not have the hormonal profile that men have and vice versa. This means we are very different from each other in more ways than just our physical body and sexual functions. The way we approach life is different due to our different hormonal structures. Our needs are very different due to our hormones.
Women often experience a sense of disconnection from themselves and their relationships. We often feel unworthy and stuck, like we don’t deserve the things we desire. Or we feel guilty for the things we might want in life.
Almost all women are repressed. And I’m not talking about the stereotypical ways you might be thinking. I’m talking about a repression that is internal and unspoken and really misunderstood. We are so disconnected from our true feminine nature. We refrain from truly expressing our wildness, our sensuality, our sexuality, our light, our power, our intuitive “knowingness”, our emotions, our playfulness, our desire, our pain, our pleasure…..the list is really endless.
The history of this world has, generally, not been friendly to women who are willing to fully express themselves, to own their power. We are not too far away from a time when women were burned at the stake for expressing some of these things. So there are reasons, that we are cautious, that we don't even understand.
But I think the time has come that women are meant to step up and stand next to their husband and emulate God, by two equals becoming one. Women cannot do that if we are repressing vital aspects of who we really are. The same is true for men, but in different ways for different things, some of which I have discussed in previous blog posts here and here.
(I want to say here, that all women need to get back in touch with their feminine nature and should engage in practices like I've suggested to help do that. A man is not required to begin this work. But a man is required for us to go all that way with this.)
I will end this with a quote I wrote down a few years ago. Once again, I did not write down where I got it from, but it is good so I’m going to use it.
“...of how to live, of how to love, of a banquet laid, of a cup overflowing. If we let that beauty fill us up we too will overflow–and it will come out in everything we do, in the ideals we hold, in the passion and compassion we feel, in the love we are no longer afraid to express.”
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